


Just a Friend

by snekwami



Category: Miraculous Ladybug
Genre: Arodrien Acegreste, mild spoiler warning for the episode Mayura, sorry I just really had to pun
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-04
Updated: 2018-11-04
Packaged: 2019-08-18 17:38:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,511
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16521626
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/snekwami/pseuds/snekwami
Summary: He says Marinette Dupain-Cheng is "just a friend".Plot twist: he actually means it.





	Just a Friend

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks @randomestfandoms for the pun I put in the tags, it's the best thing I've ever heard omg
> 
> posting this on my tumblr too @snekwami, I'm an aro mess who has too many feels I'm sorry
> 
> SPOILER WARNING FOR MAYURA (but like only a little bit)

Growing up so alone had never been easy for Adrien.

Sure, he was rich. His room was filled with everything he could ever want, over the years changing from toy cars and stuffed animals to video games and basketball hoops. His family, though a little distant at times, were there for him – at least until his mother vanished, and the world got even lonelier.

Chloé helped, of course. He didn’t know anyone else around his age. She always seemed so very clingy, though, in a way he couldn’t quite understand. Was she like this with her friends at school too? He suspected she wasn’t, considering the way she spoke about her classmates, though Adrien didn’t exactly mind. The company was nice.

His life had never been _normal_. In a way, he wished it could be. There were so many things he had seen on TV, read about in books, things he was sure he could never experience if he never got out of the house. Was life out there really like that? Could it truly be an exciting adventure?

He’d been starting to be convinced that it would never be anything special.

Until he met Ladybug.

-

Adrien had wondered often about _why_ Chloé stuck to him like glue, and after starting school with her and realizing that this was not normal behaviour, it confused him even more. But then again, Chloé seemed to be more open with her thoughts than most (even if most of those thoughts seemed to be… well, a tad cruel).

So perhaps it was common to feel so strongly about people. That happened in all the TV shows that Adrien had grown up watching, after all. Granted, most of those shows had been anime. But still. That counted, right?

He had been so sheltered, it had been impossible to really get to know anyone well enough to form any kind of relationship beyond the superficial, something that his fellow classmates already seemed to handle naturally. He _wanted_ to make friends. He wanted to feel special to people.

And when he met Ladybug, he was sure she was _the one_.

She was so strong, so inspiring! The way she had stood up to Hawk Moth and taken down an akuma villain, Adrien just couldn’t stop thinking about it. She was so beautiful, too, so incredibly gorgeous, almost too bright to even look at directly.

In a way, she was almost too perfect. The fact that Adrien, as Chat Noir, could speak to her every single day if he wanted to, could work beside her as a team, could gain her trust and friendship and know that she was counting on him… it was all so perfect. Almost like living right inside one of those TV shows, where everything fell directly into place.

He and Ladybug were made for each other. Weren’t they?

-

It hurt when she didn’t love him back, not in the way that he had wanted. Was heartbreak supposed to make you cry? Adrien wondered if his lack of tears made him shallow, or selfish. He barely even knew who she was, after all! How could he have fallen in love with someone beneath a mask? And then not even have the decency to be _upset enough_ about it?!

The biggest problem was that it didn’t make sense. They were the two crime-fighting heroes of Paris, the duo who could take down the worst of villains and still have time for a pun and a laugh.

How could Ladybug not love him, when everything had seemingly fallen into place so perfectly?

Adrien knew, deep down, that he didn’t know anything about real life relationships, not truly. Everything he had learnt was from _anime_ , of all things. Not exactly realistic. So perhaps this, this beautiful love story for himself he had created in his head, wasn’t set in stone.

But he couldn’t admit it to himself. He loved her so much! He had tried so hard, for so long, had so much hope in his heart. To let it shatter… no, he couldn’t. Not yet. Not now.

-

Adrien wondered a little why Marinette could be so ditzy around him. Was she nervous? He was a model, after all, it did make sense. Or perhaps she was like this with everyone.

He didn’t mind, though. It was… kind of cute.

No regrets about making friends with her, then. That bright, spunky, clumsy classmate of his was a lot of fun to spend time with. It was the kind of friendship he had daydreamed about when younger, hugging a stuffed toy to his chest and wondering if he would ever have the chance to make it happen.

“She’s just a friend,” he told Plagg. He didn’t want it getting weird.

A friend…

Was the thought of that simple phrase supposed to warm his heart so much?

-

Chat Noir stared at the screen, shocked. When he had agreed to be interviewed on Nadja Chamack’s prime-time TV show, this hadn’t been what he was expecting.

Ladybug had _kissed_ him?

Right on the lips, during the Dark Cupid attack apparently, and he had remembered none of it. All he could recall of that day was trying so hard to confess his true feelings for her, only to wake up after a spurt of possession and right in the middle of a battle.

“I wasn’t kissing you, I was saving you!” Ladybug insisted, only turning to him for a second before continuing to talk to Nadja.

She wasn’t kissing him, she was saving him…

He couldn’t wrap his head around it. Why had she kissed him?

And more importantly, why was he _weirded out by it?_

He had wanted to kiss her. Heck, he had tried for a Spider-man kiss so many times now, only for her to playfully push him away with a _Not now, kitty_. Kisses were for love. He knew that, everyone knew that. He loved her, so it only made sense that he wanted a kiss.

Never before had he actually thought about the real, physical act of kissing her.

And apparently it had happened. Should he feel happy about that? Sad that he had no memory of it, no matter how hard he tried? All he really felt was a vague sense of… unpleasantness. Like being a little kid again, and having to turn away whenever anyone in a movie kissed, because it was _gross_ , and ugh, why would anyone do that.

But this was Ladybug! He should feel differently about her! After all, he was in love, right?

-

Wow, there were a _lot_ of photos of Adrien on the walls in Marinette’s room. And in a few other places, too. He had seen it on TV, he had seen it close up as Chat Noir when fighting Troublemaker, and now he had confronted her about them himself.

She was a fan of fashion. She loved the clothes that he modelled. That was the reason.

Well, though Adrien did suspect that him being a rather aesthetically pleasing model maybe had something to do with it too, part of him was relieved. So far, every time someone had showed interest in him other than pure platonic affection, they got _clingy_. Chloé first, then Lila, then the millions of fans who chased him down on street corners.

Even if Marinette did feel that way, she wasn’t showing it. Perhaps she knew Adrien needed the space. In any case, it warmed his heart so much, even just thinking about Marinette being there for him put an involuntary smile on his face – she was his _friend_ , and he loved her all the more for it.

-

The first rejection from Ladybug had hurt. But Adrien couldn’t let a setback like that keep him down for long. The two of them had grown even closer since then, and if she couldn’t gain the affections of the boy who she loved in her daily life, then would she give him a chance?

The second rejection hit him hard.

He gave the rose to Kagami instead, the beautiful, haughty fencer who listened to him venting. She wasn’t someone he had really considered very much, far too hung up on Ladybug to even think about going for anyone else. Why would he, if he didn’t love them?

But what if he did love Kagami?

Duelling her was better than duelling anyone else. There was a certain ferocity to it, an electric edge, giving Adrien the same kind of adventurous buzz as he got when fighting villains as Chat Noir. It was so freeing to experience it as a civilian too, thanks to that one worthy rival who never went easy on him no matter what.

_Change target._

Could he do that? Choose to love someone else?

He had to ask someone for help. Anyone in his household? No, never them. Nathaniel and Marc? Mylène and Ivan? Alya and Nino? Juleka and Rose?

No – _Marinette_.

His friend. She was the one he wanted help from. Something in his heart always pointed him at Marinette. Maybe he should listen.

-

Adrien sat in his limo, on the way back from the ice rink, mind whirling. He probably didn’t love Kagami. He couldn’t just choose to love her, after all, it didn’t work like that. Everyone had told him you couldn’t just pick and choose who you fell in love with. He still loved Ladybug.

Yet, she still didn’t love him…

Somehow, he was more confused than heartbroken, and that just confused him even more! Unrequited love was meant to hurt, wasn’t it? And it did! But in a way that he simply couldn’t describe, a way that he suspected was _different_ from what he was meant to feel.

His life really wasn’t like an anime, no one’s was. Perhaps his love for Ladybug wasn’t quite the same either.

Of course he already knew love wasn’t like how they showed it in movies and TV shows, or all those melodramatic songs on the radio. They were just exaggerating. Getting all sweaty and nervous, butterflies in your stomach, wanting to kiss your crush all the time, unable to speak? As if that actually happened in real life!

It was more like… a deep admiration. Caring for a person. Enjoying time spent in their company. Emotions Adrien knew how to feel, but didn’t know how to say.

He was always so happy when he was with Ladybug. In fact, he had always been happy whenever he was with her.

It was starting to occur to him – perhaps he didn’t _want_ any more from her than he already had.

And maybe, just maybe, that was why this unrequited love didn’t quite sting him the way it was supposed to.

-

What a day. First the return of so many previous akumas, a fight with Hawk Moth himself, and now having to leave the class picnic for some gala his father was making him attend. Even now with more freedom, he was more isolated than anyone else he knew.

But as he walked towards the limo he couldn’t get a smile off his face, the world around him seeming brighter and more cheerful than it had been before, and not because of the heroes’ triumph over Hawk Moth and his peacock helper.

But because Marinette cared about him.

It was hard to put into words how much her friendship meant to him. The thing was, Nino spent so much time with Alya these days, the two of them alone and Adrien unwilling to interfere when they seemed so happy together.

He had always found Nino so heartwarmingly funny, really – going all ridiculous over his crush on Marinette, now using any excuse to gush about Alya in a way that almost seemed too much. It certainly was cute. But somehow, Adrien wondered if it could _possibly_ be sincere, when it seemed so much like a movie romance come true. He’d already learnt that life was not like movies, or books, or anime! Did people just act like it was, to seem more mature or something? Was Nino doing that?

Marinette was around, at least, and as much of a hero as a civilian could be. At this point he considered her almost the same way he considered Ladybug – a wonderful, valiant friend who he was honoured to spend time with, someone who cared about him and trusted him, someone fun to hang around.

She had grabbed his face and kissed his cheek, and part of him wondered why his classmates cheered so hard at such a cute display of friendship. From what he knew, most people didn’t really take friendship as seriously as he did. Maybe he was mistaken.

“Looks like she’s really got a thing for you,” Plagg drawled, hopping out of his pocket for a moment to stuff his face with Camembert.

Adrien shook his head, chuckling. “Nah, I told you, Marinette’s just a friend!”

“Mm, suit yourself.”

Just a friend… it felt a little unfair to call her that, as if being _just_ a friend was worse, somehow. Friendship was wonderful! He’d been able to accept his friendship with Ladybug despite being in love with her, right? It didn’t break his heart, not like that. And Marinette’s friendship? The best gift in the world. It wasn’t _just_ friendship. It was best friendship, true friendship, a friendship he was so grateful for having.

He loved spending time with Marinette. He loved it when she called him up to ask him to the movies with her (even if he wasn’t allowed to go), he loved it when they worked on their homework together in the library after school, he loved it when he went over to her place to play video games with her, and together they would laugh and chat and all Adrien’s worries would melt away for a little while.

In fact he felt the same way about her as…

He stopped.

_Ladybug_.

He felt that same way about Marinette as he did about Ladybug.

But surely that meant… was he _in love_ with Marinette?

-

It didn’t make sense. Nothing about anything made sense. All the nonsense in TV shows, the ways his classmates acted, the way he felt with two of the most important people in his life – it made no sense at all!

Adrien tried to consider asking Marinette out, actually _asking her out_ , like he had done with Kagami, like he had tried to do with Ladybug in the past before realizing he didn’t need it anyway. He properly thought about it this time.

And the truth was, he just didn’t want that with Marinette either.

Was it a pre-emptive, subconscious attempt at avoiding heartbreak? Was he supposed to be in love with Marinette? For everything people said about love not being a choice, it sure was feeling like one. He had chosen to not pursue Ladybug anymore, and any sadness about his love being unrequited had just melted away.

Maybe he wasn’t in love with Ladybug anymore, then. But his feelings about her hadn’t changed at all!

Was it possible…

He had never been in love with Ladybug?

No, surely that couldn’t be right. He had known it from so early on, hadn’t he? That Ladybug was the one for him.

But that, that had been the anime nonsense talking. That had been before he knew that actual, real life felt different. That had been him seeing how wonderful Ladybug was, how stunning, how beautiful, and believing that the only explanation for his admiration for her was _love_.

Of course, he did love her. The question was, was he _in_ love?

-

It was impossible not to be hyperaware of everyone around him and their love lives, now that Adrien was trying to sort out his own. Nino explained to him in detail how his feelings changed while in the cage at the zoo with Alya, how the nerves suddenly hit, how his brain fogged up, all the clichés Adrien had written off as pure fiction.

He watched as Mylène and Ivan really did act all _lovey-dovey_ with each other, constantly, never even bored, despite how oddly insincere it seemed. Surely that wasn’t real?

Chloé’s clinginess had long ended, and for that Adrien was glad. He cared about her, of course he did, after all they were friends, and Adrien loved his friends. But her previous affection had been stifling. Any romantic advances towards him had always seemed stifling, in fact.

And he did not go oblivious to his classmates’ blatant attempts to set him up with Marinette, despite the fact that he had already considered it, and come to the conclusion that he wasn’t in love with her – and hey, maybe never had been in love with anyone ever! – and then quickly getting rid of that thought from his mind because it was a little too heavy to think about for now.

All he wanted was to yell _SHE’S MY FRIEND!_ at everyone, and know that no matter how much he insisted, no one was going to believe him. Because for everyone else, apparently life really was like an anime.

Well… most people. The only thing in Adrien’s bizarre confused mess of a mind that had actually made an ounce of sense recently was oddly enough, Alix’s, “Ugh, you guys are so _gross!”_ But then again, that was just what she was like, no one ever bothered questioning it. She was just a weirdo.

But it did make Adrien feel just a little less alone.

-

So it was true. He hadn’t been in love with Ladybug. He hadn’t been in love with Marinette, either. Nor Kagami. Nor anyone else.

“Just the same as me!” Plagg said, before wolfing down another slice of Camembert.

But Plagg was a kwami, not a human, and things worked different. Adrien was a _teenager_. He had the growth spurts, he had the acne (well covered up by makeup), he had the mood swings and the insomnia and ticked all the boxes on the puberty checklist.

Except the box that said that teenagers got _crushes_ , maybe on girls, maybe on boys, maybe on both.

Was there a box for neither?

The more he thought about it, the more he didn’t even want what every song on the radio said he was supposed to have. Getting all nervous around someone like that? Kissing them? Going all – all – _mushy?_

Those were all just things he had expected himself to do, and assumed that when the time came, he would want to. But what if he never wanted to? He wasn’t missing out, was he? Or was it some defect? Was he gay and subconsciously in denial?

His mind wouldn’t stop whirring. It was going to be a long night.

-

At 2am, he rolled over and picked his phone up, opening Google.

_never been in love_ , he searched.

There were so many results. His tired eyes skipped past anything that didn’t make sense to his already swamped brain. There was an ad for André the ice-cream man there, and ugh, Adrien didn’t want to think about him and his obsession with romance right now–

There.

He clicked on a page and opened it, and read.

Then he read more, and more, and more. Pages and pages, as much as he could find.

Finally, at long last, things were beginning to make sense. Here, in the darkest hours of the night, all alone, he found a light. Something that explained _why_ his experiences were not universal, why his life was not the anime it was supposed to be, why he seemed so different from everyone else, and why he’d had to convince himself that he was in love with Ladybug to feel anything resembling normal.

He was…

“Aromantic,” he whispered.

Yeah, that sounded nice.

He smiled to himself as he put the phone back down and closed his eyes. Aromantic.

-

As soon as Marinette walked through the door, Adrien leapt over and hugged her tight. It was unusual for him – he wasn’t the one normally initiating the hugging. That was Nino, or Chloé, or… well, Marinette.

“So you’re aro?” she asked.

Aro – oh, it still gave him a welcome spike of adrenaline whenever he thought of that word, the word that meant that there was a tick-box for people who didn’t fall in love, and _that was okay_.

“Yeah, I think I am!”

“Wow, I’m really happy for you!”

He let go and looked at her, a little more solemnly. “Are you okay with it then? A lot of people in our class told me that you had a crush on me, and so…”

She smiled, that wonderful, sunny Marinette smile. “Don’t worry about me. As you once said to me… I’m really glad you’re my friend.”

He almost teared up in relief. Hearing that phrase, hearing her call him a friend with such pride in her voice, it ripped all his fears away.

“I’m really glad you’re my friend too.”

That was just how he wanted it. Marinette was his friend, and he wouldn’t have it any other way.


End file.
